Singles, Sex, and Faith

Living together before marriage is generally accepted as a normal practice in the USA and Europe. Premarital sex in the USA and European societies has become a norm and even though adultery is illegal in 23 states in the USA, since 1983 no one has been punished while some 60 percent men and 42 percent, women reportedly commit acts of adultery in the country. In those states where adultery is still on the statute books, penalties vary from a life sentence in Michigan to a $10 fine in Maryland to a Class B misdemeanor in New York to a Class I felony in Wisconsin and to a fine of $500 in South Carolina.   

Islam advocates celibacy before marriage and defines pre-marital and extra-marital relations as greater sins and proposes strong penalties. The Quran says, "Nor come closer to illicit sexual intimacy (zina) for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the door (to other evils)." 17:32

Yet many in the Muslim community living in Europe and the USA and elsewhere cannot claim to be strict followers of their faith.  A good number of single men and women as well as married couples, mostly men, seem to be involved in pre-marital or extra-marital relations. There is no sociological study to substantiate the statistics, yet there are reports based on independent research of many journalists and social scientists that suggest incidents of pre-marital sex among Muslim men far exceed the incidents of similar behavior among Muslim women. By and large, Muslims avoid discussion on this subject often living under the assumption that their community is free from these acts.  Few would dare any write up and those who do would generally be looked down upon.

Yet it is an issue that one has to face, especially when it impacts the image of Islam and the health of the community. There are many disgruntled women, mostly non-Muslims, who feel betrayed by their Muslim boyfriends after living together for several years and there are many Muslim women who out of fear and social pressure are not willing to admit the intimate nature of their relations with their boyfriends in secrecy. It is an issue that deserves to be addressed openly, fearlessly and seriously.

With sex and the discussion about sex everywhere, the Muslim community cannot claim to save itself from its impact. It cannot simply close its eyes and say that “it’s a non-Muslim problem.” It has to deliberate the issue and work to strengthen young men and women to stand their moral grounds no matter how tough the circumstance may be. Sex is a physical activity, but it is born in the mind and ideas. But it is not a physical necessity (prior to developing authentic relations, assuming their responsibilities and consequences) without which a human cannot survive like food or water. So it is possible that if the mind is properly trained and the ideas are channelized into positive energy, people can control their sexual urges within a moral frame. But this would happen only when the discussion is open and objective.

It is one thing to say that God frowns upon those who indulge in illicit sexual relations, but it is another to study the causes of this lifestyle and pragmatically take steps to channelize the sexual urges within an ethical framework for the good of all. 
Not many are willing to admit that pre-marital sex is common among single Muslim male students in various colleges and universities especially among those enrolled as foreign students. There are incidents of extra-marital relations among students who live without their spouses.

Among the male students, this happens in different ways. The boy either enters into a temporary marriage relationship with a non-Muslim girl for a specific period of time or maintains a relationship in secrecy. In some cases, the boy even marries the girl in what he defines “Islamically”, without any legal contract or paperwork. In this situation, the couple approaches either an Imam or anyone they trust to conduct marriage Islamically. The marriage is not recorded under the assumptions that God is the greatest witness along with two other male witnesses. Such marriage is also solicited by married men. The women are generally non-Muslims and they are told that at a later time when it is appropriate the husband would divorce his first wife.

Temporary hookups through chat sites and dating agencies are also not uncommon among Muslim singles and married men. Usually, Muslim men and women come to these chat sites with non-Muslim names, regardless of the region they live in and slowly and gradually they reveal true identify once the possibility physical hookup becomes a reality. Usually, Muslims would avoid entering into these kinds of hookups with fellow Muslims of the opposite or same gender, yet, these unions are not rare.

Single Muslim men often start facing trouble, when their partner wants to declare their relations open. Most of the time such single Muslim men, who are not serious, do not introduce their girlfriends to their Muslim circles. However, when girlfriends ask for declaring this relationship in the open, they refuse and offer religious explanations admitting that they were wrong in maintaining these relations. This either terminates the relationship or assume different dimensions.

Ironically, many non-Muslim women take this relationship seriously and some try to familiarize them with Islam or even considering to become Muslims. Single Muslim men often avoid discussions about marriage under the plea that either they are not ready or their families are not. In this situation, the couple usually breaks up.

So what needs to happen to address the situation? First of all, Muslim social scientists and leaders should acknowledge that the issue is real and take it seriously and conduct objective studies to assess the true dimensions of this issue. Simultaneously, we should also develop a curriculum that addresses the issue of the relationship between boys and girls and men and women sociologically and pragmatically. The basic guidelines on this issue are given in the Quran explicitly, but often we, the believers, have failed to transmit this basic message in a manner that would empower individuals to take control of their lives. This should happen from an early age because in public or private schools and in circles of their peers, they are exposed to sex-related issues at a very tender age.
While, we Muslims, generally, leave it to an individual to navigate his or her way through the maze of information on sex, others offer structured courses on the subject to students as young as nine or ten. By the time, we intervene on behalf of our religion, the children are already exposed to information far better and tempting than the one offered by us. In fact, intervention at this time becomes counterproductive as it leads to stealth sexuality that no one would want to admit to one's elders or oneself. The situation often becomes explosive when the girl gets pregnant. This either results in the termination of pregnancy or sending the girl away from her circle. Very rarely, a Muslim girl uses DNA to determine the paternity to receive child support as this would violate the honor of the family. Often, the girl is punished while the sin of the boy is generally ignored. In situation, the boy often abandons the girl assuming that the secret would never come out. But with non-Muslim girls the situation is different. So, it is important that we begin the process of education at an early stage. We have to decide when it would be appropriate to introduce such subjects to students.

Only when one would have a strong foundation in a lifestyle guided by the divine teachings, one can hope to reduce such incidents in real relationships. The solution lies in empowering individuals with knowledge that would inspire them to be responsible and disciplined in every aspect of life. Where self-control would be an assertive way of life and where the relationship would not be used to serve feelings of self-indulgence. It is possible to control sexual urges but it would not come through condemning sexuality, but giving it a positive spin within a moral framework that is useful for everyone. Humans are their best supervisors and controllers, but we have to be empowered with the knowledge that would strengthen those aspects of our character inwardly.

Ashura and the Martyrdom of Imam Hussein

During the early period of the Prophet's mission in Makkah, Muslims fasted on Muharram 10^th and then they started fasting for two days in Medina on the 10^th and 9^th or 11^th of the month. Ashura refers to the 10^th of Muharram and according to Muslim beliefs in all religious traditions this day was of great significance. The literature about the fasting on the 10th of Muharram is all over the internet and one does not need to repeat that here. It is a significant part of our faith and the entire Muslim world recognizes that,
But this article would focus on what was said by Imam Ibn Taymiya about one of the greatest events in the early history of Muslims.
 وأما من قتل الحسين أو أعان على قتله أو رضي بذلك فعليه لعنة الله والملائكة والناس أجمعين, ابن تيمية في مجموع الفتاوى 4 / 487 

"The curse of God, the angels, and the entire community is on those who killed
al-Hussein assisted in killing him or accepted his killing. 
Ibn Taymiya, Majmou' al-Fatawa 4 / 487
فإن قتل الحسين وقتل عثمان من قبله كان من أعظم أسباب الفتن في هذه الامة وقتلتهما من شرار الخلق عند الله, ابن تيمية411 /3 الفتاوى
The killing of Hussein and Uthman before him is one of the great reasons for the temptations in the Muslim community and God regard their killers as the worst of people / Majmou' al-Fatawa, Ibn Taymiya

In our recent memory, the 10th of Muharram is remembered more for one of the greatest tragedies that occurred in the early history of Muslims. It was this day when Imam Hussein, son of Ali, the cousin and son-in-law of Prophet Muhammad offered his life together with members of his family in the fields of Kerbala in Iraq. It was this day when an army claiming to be Muslims confronted the grandson of the Prophet and denied him even water before decimating him and his family. It is a tragic day for Muslims, nay for all the people in the world, and the 10th of Muharram reminds us of that constantly..

Shias observe this day as a day of great mourning reminding them of the sacrifices of Imam Hussein and his family. Sunnis on the other fast on these days and usually avoid participating in events organized to commemorate the martyrdom of Imam Hussein.

Imam Hussein belongs to the entire Ummah and his sacrifices are for the entire Ummah and not just for one section of the community. He stood for the principles of Islam and not just in the interests of one section of the community. He stood for those eternal values of Islam that every Prophet preached to his people. He knew that life is sacred and a gift from Allah, yet he realized that there may come times in the life of individuals when the goals of life may become more important than life itself.

The goals of life he stood for are obvious. He believed that people should not be coerced to give political allegiance to leaders they disagreed with. People have a right to dissent with rulers and leaders with dignity and honor. The resources of a nation belong to all and not to one dynasty, or aristocracy or an elite group. Coercion and violence were weapons of despots in their campaign against truth and justice.

Thus, Imam Hussein challenged the decision of Ameer Muwaiya, the ruler of the Muslim world at the time, one of the companions of the Prophet, when he nominated his son Yezid as his successor. Imam Hussein was of the opinion that Islam was against the dynastic rule and the one nominated was not qualified to lead the nation of Muslims He was not alone in this opinion. Many of the companions in Medina and Makkah supported his ideas.

Against all odds, Imam Hussein challenged the forces of Yezid in Kerbala realizing that those who had promised to be on his side had betrayed him. He knew he would be crushed and his family would suffer the dire consequences. He knew that he would achieve martyrdom in the battlefield. Yet he decided to offer his life. Primarily to prove the point that goals of life are more important than life itself. He knew that compromise was not an option in these situations. He also realized that when the choice is so clear between right and wrong, one should offer all one has in defense of one’s ideals. His ijtihad and actions were based on his understanding of the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet and he stood by that.

It is this message Imam Hussein upheld and offered his martyrdom for. This message has been forgotten by one section of the community and highly expanded by the other. Shias mourn on this day. If they mourn the loss of the grandson as a token of love, it should be within the limits that his grandfather set for these occasions. Because the mourning and repentance should belong to those who betrayed Imam Hussein and refused to support him even after inviting him to continue his resistance. It does not behoove to those who see in the example of Imam Hussein a manifesto for the Ummah to rid itself from all sorts of despots and tyrants in every aspect of life. By and large, Sunnis have remained silent on his martyrdom in general not realizing that he stood for the principles that Allah introduced to the world through his grandfather.  

The tenth of Muharram, thus, is a day of great significance in Muslim history as it is a day when one of the great leaders of the community, Imam Hussein, knowingly and consciously accepted martyrdom for saving the soul of Islam. It could be a day to bring Shias and Sunnis together. Because it is a day of pride when the divine cause was given the priority over one's life and family. This day should be viewed as the day of deliverance.

Both Sunnis and Shias can focus on the message of the Imam and work together to rid their world of all sorts of despotism that have negated the essence of the divine guidance. 

Welcome to the Human-Machine Civilization

From the midst of the modern civilization is emerging yet another set of ideas that would probably exhaust all possible means to reportedly make human beings smarter to the extent of promoting a new scientific world known as human-machine culture.

By the year 2015, as predicted by Ray Kurzwell, one of 18 thinkers chosen by the US National Academy of Engineering to identify the great technological challenges facing humanity in the 21st century, "we will have intelligent nanobots go into our brains through the capillaries, and interact directly with our biological neurons." These nanobots, he concluded, would make us smarter, remember things better and automatically go into full emergent virtual reality environments through the nervous system."

We are on the brink of advances that, many argue, will change the face of the world, in a dramatic fashion, unknown and unseen by anything in the past. We thought the computer was the smartest invention we ever had. The emerging new changes will make every scientific discovery up till now seem primitive.

The idea of placing tiny robots implanted in our brains to give us more intelligence will indeed change the way we think, act and respond, some argue.

However, in realistic terms, those who will design the software for such robotic implantation would essentially control the definition of everything that goes with the word "smart". The software engineers will determine, based on the guidelines given to them by consumer-driven multinational-controlled capitalism, how to interfere with human nature in terms of proposing courses of actions that would serve their interests.

Under this new so-called nanobot technology, we would be virtual slaves to those who will manufacture the best software, something that the rulers of the world were unable to do in the past. We witnessed in our long recorded history several attempts to subjugate human will to the dictates of the most powerful people at the helms of affairs, yet none could even come close to controlling human thinking and actions as this nanobot inventors intend to do.

This will create the ability to make us eat, drink and do what we are told by robotic implanting. We could be thinking about the way we are programmed. But how will that be done?

According to the Quran we believe that human beings are created by the divine with part of the created energy infused in us (Quran; 32:9, 15:29, 38:72, 21:91, 66:12). We believe that God is the one who creates, invents, and designs (40:64,59:24, 64:3). We believe that He is the one who has created us with the faculty of rationality that gives us options to choose between various alternatives available in all aspects of life (3:191). We also believe that in a world that is yet to come, we will be questioned for all our actions in this world as well as in the world hereafter (2:210).

In a nanobot controlled and driven world, rationality would be determined by the investors in the device, alternative actions will be drafted by programmers, and choices will be pushed by competing entrepreneurs and so on so forth.

If our nature is tempered with devices, the whole issue of the existence of the creator would come into question. Many, who have already written an obituary of God, would triumphantly blow the trumpet of their victory, claiming that the human mind has finally been liberated with the biggest and longest superstition it carried for millenniums. But could they really make such a claim and would such a claim be valid?

This brings us back to the question posed earlier: How will this be done? Well, software interacting with our brain cells, may be used to block our diverse thinking capabilities. Even though those cells may still be there, yet their effectiveness may be destroyed or altered as a result of this calculated intervention.

Regardless of what and how it happens, the fact is that those who are working on these technologies are doing so within the framework of mental capacities they are endowed with by God that is the ultimate creator, a creator who created balance in everything including ourselves. The creator reminds us in His revealed wisdom that "He will constantly show us signs in our universe and in ourselves till we come to the conclusion through a manifest reality that the He is the ultimate truth" (Quran 38:53). 

Science has helped us identify, locate and discover signs of God in this universe in our quest to understand the divine creation. Science, through its method of controlled experimentation, has allowed us to conquer our own ignorance in various fields and would continue to do so. Science has made us more efficient and not necessarily smarter. Despite all the discoveries and advancements, we are still subject to our biases in defining our world within a range of limited knowledge that we have.

We are still searching for some direction in our lives, a direction that would help us ensure that the inconsistencies that we have shown in our behavior and attitude in our relations with each other and the universe, are overcome. We still find ourselves at a loss to understand that despite the monumental progress that we have achieved, why do people in our world kill the fellow human beings at a rate of one person every 45 seconds? Why does there occur a rape every ten-seconds in our world? Why do more than one billion people sleep hungry every night despite the fact that the world has enough food to feed the next several generations? Why are there still wars for national supremacy? Why do people commit suicide at the rate of one every 5 minutes? Why do we have so much injustice built into our social structures despite all the unprecedented achievements that we have made over the centuries? Why does the notion of racial, ethnic and cultural superiority still dominate our way of thinking? 

To be a smart person means that that we address these issues on the basis of free choice that we all have been endowed with, we on the basis of ideas that we are exposed to. To be a smart person means that we discover ourselves on our own rather than through some devices that may serve the purpose of those who have always sought to control us for their interests. If the emerging scientific realities help us achieve our independence, we should be the first one to adopt and accept them. However, if they are meant to deprive us of our freedoms and rationality based on our origin, we must not be skeptical about their discoveries or inventions, but about their usefulness to us. We know that things are not static. Change is inbuilt in our universe in terms of learning about new divine signs every day. How to channel this change for our own good and the good of human beings based on an understanding of the self and the universe beyond time and space, is the task that we all face and this task will remain unaccomplished without the divine guidance.